We are professors bald and hairy
and of ourselves we take good care.
Our attitudes to people vary
When students call we're never there.
But when the SRC comes visiting,
Or when Pengelly wants some space -
Invite them in, invite them in,
Invite them in, invite them in,
For they are quite a different case.
We'll have the Open University's
Hewlett-Packard here next term,
They might think it's for their students,
Ah, but we've got news for them:
We'll charge five hundred pounds an hour
To commercial firms we know -
We'll rake it in, we'll rake it in,
We'll rake it in, we'll rake it in,
We'll have a new floor when they go,
We'll rake it in, we'll rake it in,
We'll rake it in, we'll rake it in,
Poor fools, how little did they know.
To the people from the Poly
We are very friendly too.
We just think of all their lolly,
Some for me and some for you.
With another hundred thousand
(Why waste it all on extra core?) -
We'll rake it in, we'll rake it in,
We'll rake it in, we'll rake it in,
We'll take our names down off the door,
We'll rake it in, we'll rake it in,
We'll rake it in, we'll rake it in,
And we will work again no more.
With your new Admin. Assistant,
You don't need us in the Lab,
So we're off to places distant,
We find England rather drab.
We will live a life of pleasure,
Now that we have made our pile.
We took you in, we took you in,
We took you in, we took you in,
That's why we always wear a smile,
We took you in, we took you in,
We took you in, we took you in,
With all our subtlety and guile.